There is a lot to focus on as a mother! We have goals, and dreams, and plans, and wishes for our lives, and for our children. I hope my kids are smart, I hope they get into a good school, I hope they have friends, I hope they are healthy, I hope they are kind. I prioritize their health and safety and happiness and education. I dream of their success and their accomplishments. Of course. We all do that. BUT (there is always a but isn’t there) but, none of those things are my #1 goal as a mom.
My #1 goal as a mom is the same as my #1 goal as a wife, and as woman, and as a business owner. My #1 goal is to be happy. Yes, you read that right. My #1 priority as a mom is my very own happiness. Selfish, right?
But, here is the thing: If I am happy, my kids are happy. If I am happy, my husband is happy. You’ve heard the saying right? A happy Mom is a happy home. And let’s be clear about what I mean by happy. I don’t mean happy because my husband did the dishes. I don’t mean happy because my children are being quiet.
When I say happy I mean fulfilled, at peace, joyful, and my soul is smiling. When I am not a stressed-out-crazy-person, I am nicer and more patient with my children. I play more. I smile more. I yell less. When I am a happy mom, I am teaching my kids that it is important to be happy. When I am a happy mom I am teaching my children that it is up to them- and only them- to make themselves happy.
When I am a happy wife, my husband is more relaxed and joyful. That makes him more playful and silly and engaged. When I am not a tired and cranky wife, I have better sex more often. When I have an identity other than Mom-who-is-default-responsible-for-everything-all-the-time-person, I get to be myself and have a drink and a smile. I have said it before, and I will say it again: Mom’s don’t like sex, but Women LOVE sex. Especially happy women.
Being happy is my goal because I am a human being, a woman, a person. I only get one shot at life just like the rest of the world. I am going to make this one life count. Just because you are a mom, doesn’t mean that you are somehow less entitled to happiness. My husband and children have helped bring so much more joy to my life, it would be a damn shame to squander that gift because I am crabby and tired and no one smacks my butt anymore.
For more of Candy’s brand of sass, humor, and healthy lifestyle essays, check out her blog Candy’s Brain, which is about to be even more fabulous when the new design is complete.
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Love. Balance. Health. Happiness.